1. Take her off that pedestal 2. Get closure... 3. ...then don't contact her 4. Get negative feelings out on paper 5. Avoid her friends and any places she goes to 6. Throw away anything that reminds you of her 7. Don't try to get your stuff back 8. Spend time with your friends
Don't idolize her and build her up into something great. She is nothing of the sort. So don't gaze lovingly at pictures of her. Don't jump to answer her e-mail or phone calls. And definitely don't go out of your way for her. She no longer deserves preferential treatment.
It's essential to definitively end any hopes of reconciliation between the two of you. And if you can't get that into your head, she owes you the courtesy of making it crystal clear. She should tell you: 'I never loved you. I don't love you now. We'll never get back together.' After some prodding, she'll probably do it, just to get rid of you. It provides what therapists call 'closure.' And you can begin to heal.
After the relationship reaches finality, you have to break off contact or you will go mad. Don't beg or cry. Don't drunk-dial. Don't write her e-mail. Don't send packages or CDs. Don't dedicate a song to her on the radio. Geddit? She will find you if she wants to. And even if you can talk your way back into her arms, it's only a temporary reprieve. She already knows you want her back, and she doesn't care. Take that as a sign.
Write her a letter pouring out your negative and weepy feelings, then disassociate them from yourself. Throw the letter away or burn it. But definitely don't send it to her. You will only regret it. She will show her friends and her new boyfriend. And they will all share a good laugh.
Don't venture into her territory. You won't be welcome. Find new places to hang out for the first few months and make new friends, if necessary. If any of your friends insist on maintaining contact with her, you may have to shut them out, too - at least temporarily. After some time has passed, you should go back to living normally, and that means hanging out at these places and reconnecting with your mutual friends.
You don't have to burn it all, but definitely get pictures, gifts, clothing, letters, and e-mail out of your living area, or at least out of your line of vision. If that means giving away roughly half of your wardrobe to get rid of the memory of her, so be it. As a rule of thumb, if the object makes you think of her, discard it. This can also save your sanity.
Unless it's a diamond ring or something that's one-of-a-kind, you're better off not contacting her to get it back. DVDs, clothes, your extra toothbrush... just let 'em go. They're only possessions. Is it really worth the pain of being in her presence just to reclaim a pair of boxer shorts? Don't exchange your dignity for menial belongings.
Let your pals give you a wake up call on how your ex wasn't that perfect to begin with, and that there are more fish in the sea. A little male camaraderie can go a long way towards getting your head straight. We've all been detonated by a woman before and most of us will likely get detonated again.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
11 tips for getting over your ex
Posted by E . X . Y .L .L . A at 7:52 PM 0 comments
Forgetting Someone in 8 Steps: Mending a Broken Heart
Cry out everything you have to cry about! When we get hurt, it's normal (and good) to cry. Don't ever think you're being weak for crying and don't feel embarrassed because of it! It's normal and it's good! When you cry, you let go of part of your anger and hurt so you can feel less heavy. You can lock yourself in a room, if you want to, and put on some sad music...but let yourself feel the pain and cry so you can let it go. The main thing here is: Get rid of the pain! Just let her go! Get busy! When you're trying to get someone out of your head, you need to put other things inside of it. In other words...get busy! It doesn't matter how, you just need to get distracted. Go to a movie, watch a play, travel. It doesn't matter what are you going to do--the important thing is to find something to do. Find a hobby, find something you enjoy doing, something to keep your mind busy. If your mind is busy, it doesn't have time or space to think about the person you're trying to forget. Spend some time with your friends. Friends are always great to have in this kind of situation! Friends can make you feel good about yourself and get you distracted very easily. They will certainly make you laugh and make you see that you're way more important than you think! The only warning is: Ask them not to talk about the person you're trying to forget. If they start bringing the topic up in every conversation, you won't be able to forget, and instead of making you laugh, they're going to make you cry. So be honest and ask them not to talk about it! Avoid the person! Try not to go to places you know you can meet that person. When you're trying to forget someone and you two keep seeing each other, it gets hard to get over it. If you meet him/her somewhere, just be nice and kind, but find an excuse to go away as fast as you can! If you work or study with him/her and you can't avoid seeing him/her, just try not to look and not to talk too much. Just be gentle and keep busy all the time so you won't have excuses to look at him/her or to chat. Avoid every kind of romantic thing! If you're trying to forget someone, you'd better not watch romantic movies or listen to romantic songs...it makes you feel bad and you will certainly remember the person you're trying to get rid of. It doesn't matter if it's a song you love or if it's playing on the radio...just change the station or do something else! Put on some happy songs, dancing songs, watch some comedies, terror movies, whatever...you just need to avoid the romantic things for now! Take good care of yourself. Women tend to run for some kind of self-destruction when they're hurt. If we break up our perfect relationship, then we have no reason to get our nails done anymore and the only thing that gives us comfort is chocolate and sugar. That way, the only thing we do is to become less attractive and lessen our self-confidence. So if you're hurt, just try to use your pain for yourself instead of against you. Go to the gym, work out a lot, get your nails and hair done...do whatever you can so you can feel more pretty and confident! Accept the process! You can be really strong and it's still going to hurt. The process takes time and you have to accept that! You can't hope to forget in 2 days someone you loved for 2 years...and you can't pretend to be strong if you feel like crying. Just face your pain and accept that it's not easy and it's going to take some time. When you're patient with yourself and your situation, things tend to get easier... Well, of course, forgetting someone is not easy to do nor is it easily explained in just 8 steps. But there are some things that make the process a lot smoother. As I said, it takes time and it's hard but I'm sure you can do it! The only thing that is really, really important is: It all depends on you! Don' ever forget that! If you want to forget someone, then you will, there is no doubt! Even if it takes a long time, even if you have to be really strong...you will be! In that kind of situation we usually find out that we are a lot stronger than we give ourselves credit for! So believe that. Believe that, take a deep breath and move on! Your life's waiting for you, baby!
Posted by E . X . Y .L .L . A at 7:46 PM 0 comments
TUHAN TAHU by Chester Best
Posted by E . X . Y .L .L . A at 7:33 PM 0 comments
Monday, July 26, 2010
BERSYUKURLAH
Aku bertanya kepada Tuhan, mengapa aku tidak kaya...
Lalu Dia menunjukkan seorang pria dengan banyak harta, tetapi hidup kesepian, dan tidak memiliki siapapun untuk berbagi.
Aku bertanya kepada Tuhan, mengapa aku tidak cantik...
Lalu Dia menunjukkan seorang wanita dengan kecantikan yang melebihi lainnya, tetapi memiliki karakter yang buruk.
Aku bertanya kepada Tuhan, mengapa Ia membiarkan aku menjadi tua...
Lalu Dia menujukkan seorang anak laki-laki berusia 16 tahun sedang terbujur kaku, meninggal karena kecelakaan mobil.
Aku bertanya kepada Tuhan, mengapa aku tidak memiliki rumah besar...
Lalu Dia menunjukkan sebuah keluarga yang beranggotakan 6 orang, baru saja diusir dari rumah yang kecil sesak...dan terpaksa tinggal dijalanan.
Aku bertanya kepada Tuhan, mengapa aku harus bekerja...
Lalu Dia menunjukkan seorang pria, yang tidak bisa menemukan satu pekerjaan pun, karena tidak memiliki kesempatan untuk belajar membaca.
Aku bertanya kepada Tuhan, mengapa aku tidak menjadi orang terkenal...
Lalu Dia menunjukkan seseorang yang memiliki banyak sahabat, tetapi semuanya pergi ketika orang itu tidak memiliki harta lagi.
Aku bertanya kepada Tuhan, mengapa aku tidak pintar...
Lalu Dia menunjukkan seorang yang terlahir jenius, tetapi dipenjara karena menyalahgunakan kepintarannya untuk kejahatan.
Aku bertanya kepada Tuhan, mengapa Ia begitu sabar dengan orang yang tidak bisa bersyukur seperti aku...
Dia lalu menunjukkan AlkitabNya...Dia menunjukkan AnakNya, yang telah mengambil alih tempatku di Kalvari.
Aku tahu sekarang betapa besar Ia mengasihiku...
Dan itu cukup bagiku.
I TESALONIKA 5:18
'Mengucap syukurlah dalam segala hal,
sebab itulah yang dikehendaki Allah di dalam Kristus Yesus bagi kamu.'
Posted by E . X . Y .L .L . A at 11:10 AM 0 comments
Saturday, May 1, 2010
D e n d a m
Posted by E . X . Y .L .L . A at 11:54 PM 0 comments
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Ketika Tuhan Mengatakan Tidak
Ya Tuhan ambillah kesombonganku dariku. Tuhan berkata, "Tidak. Bukan Aku yang mengambil, tapi kau yang harus menyerahkan nya."
Ya Tuhan sempurnakanlah kekurangan anakku yang cacat. Tuhan berkata, "Tidak. Jiwanya telah sempurna, tubuhnya hanyalah sementara."
Ya Tuhan beri aku kesabaran. Tuhan berkata, "Tidak. Kesabaran didapat dari ketabahan dalam menghadapi cobaan; tidak diberikan, kau harus meraihnya sendiri ."
Ya Tuhan beri aku kebahagiaan. Tuhan berkata, "Tidak. Kuberi keberkahan, kebahagiaan tergantung kepadamu sendiri. "
Ya Tuhan jauhkan aku dari kesusahan. Tuhan berkata, "Tidak. Penderitaan menjauhkanmu dari jerat duniawi dan mendekatkanmu pada Ku."
Ya Tuhan beri aku segala hal yang menjadikan hidup ini nikmat. Tuhan berkata, "Tidak. Aku beri kau kehidupan supaya kau menikmati segala hal."
Ya Tuhan bantu aku MENCINTAI orang lain, sebesar cintaMu padaku. Tuhan berkata... "Ahhhh , akhirnya kau mengerti !"
Posted by E . X . Y .L .L . A at 8:50 AM 0 comments
R E N U N G K A N L A H . P A R T 1 [ BY KRISTIAN SEJATI ]
1. Hari ini sebelum kamu mengatakan kata-kata yang tidak baik, pikirkan tentang seseorang yang tidak dapat berbicara sama sekali.
2. Sebelum kamu mengeluh tentang rasa dari makananmu, pikirkan tentang seseorang yang tidak punya apapun untuk dimakan.
3. Sebelum anda mengeluh tidak punya apa-apa, pikirkan tentang seseorang yang meminta-minta di jalanan.
4. Sebelum kamu mengeluh bahwa kamu buruk, pikirkan tentang seseorang yang berada pada tingkat yang terburuk di dalam hidupnya.
5. Sebelum kamu mengeluh tentang suami atau istrimu, pikirkan tentang seseorang yang memohon kepada Allah untuk diberikan teman hidup.
6. Hari ini sebelum kamu mengeluh tentang hidupmu, pikirkan tentang seseorang yang meninggal terlalu cepat.
7. Sebelum kamu mengeluh tentang anak-anakmu, pikirkan tentang seseorang yang sangat ingin mempunyai anak tetapi dirinya mandul.
8. Sebelum kamu mengeluh tentang rumahmu yang kotor karena pembantumu tidak mengerjakan tugasnya, pikirkan tentang orang-orang yang tinggal dijalanan.
9. Sebelum kamu mengeluh tentang jauhnya kamu telah menyetir, pikirkan tentang seseorang yang menempuh jarak yang sama dengan berjalan.
10. Dan disaat kamu lelah dan mengeluh tentang pekerjaanmu, pikirkan tentang pengangguran, orang-orang cacat yang berharap mereka mempunyai pekerjaan seperti anda.
11. Sebelum kamu menunjukkan jari dan menyalahkan orang lain, ingatlah bahwa tidak ada seorangpun yang tidak berdosa.
Posted by E . X . Y .L .L . A at 8:37 AM 0 comments